Ozeri Green Earth Ceramic Nonstick Frying Pan ~ A Review

Ozeri Green Earth Ceramic Nonstick Frying Pan

  A Review

For those of you that know me ...  that know me well, know I can cook and cook well.. when I'm inclined too. Baking things that are going to expand your waist line is more of my strong point.

 But I am one of the lucky ones in life...

 

 I married a firefighter

Besides being all hunky and good looking {check}, a home town hero {double check}, the one other thing that they {fire fighters} are known for is being able to COOK and cook well I might add {triple check!!}! My ah-mazing hubby is no slacker when it comes to knowing his way around the kitchen ( a sponge and soapy water to clean it maybe a little out of his realm) he is good, talented, amazing, astonishing in the kitchen.
He is someone that can smell two different spices and know right away if they are going to taste good or great together, he never measures anything and yet everything always comes out tasting great. Okay well almost everything... except for that time he got the great idea to mix in strawberry extract in to the corn bread mix.... it was just... odd.

 With all the cooking that does go on in our house trying out a pan was one of the most perfect products for us to test and try.
 We had the honor of trying out the Ozeri Green Earth Smooth Ceramic Nonstick Frying Pan. This is the first pan that I have ever gotten besides my cast iron that came with full instructions on how to season and care for it.  We even followed the instructions on how to season it and care for it {which not hard at all}! The pan it's self  has a slight texture to the bottom inside and is a pretty green on the outside. And nothing while cooking with it stuck to it  which was great! We were even able to cut out the butter and oil from our cooking because nothing stuck to the inside of the pan, not even our morning eggs. 

This pan is well constructed and has a good weight to it. I only used plastic utensils with it so not to damage the non-stick surface. It heats up evenly and holds the heat in well, which makes it cook your food more evenly.  

The handle is put on securely with no wiggle { I hate it when the handles wiggle}. And is made out of silicone so you don't have to worry about it heating up and burning you {yay!}. 

And when it comes to the non-stick surface there is no weird taste to your food after cooking in it, like some pans tend to leave. 

This pan is also 100-Percent PTFE and PFOA Free which makes it safer to use and eat off of.

Here is what the company has to say about it:

• Unlike other ceramic cookware brands, the Ozeri pan utilizes an ultra-safe ceramic coating derived from nature which is 100% PTFE and PFOA free.
• Delivers unprecedented non-stick performance without releasing harmful fumes or toxins at high temperatures.
• Features a scratch-resistant 100 percent ceramic coating as found in nature (no heavy metals or chemicals) that is super easy to clean.
• Made out of durable heavy-gauge die-cast aluminum with no heavy metals or harmful chemicals.
• Boasts a comfortable heat resistant Bakelight handle, and a magnetized induction stove safe base for rapid heat transfer.

And so far everything that I have seen is spot on with the above description.


 While doing my research on this pan { I always research every product before my review} I saw this under the product description:

 " Utilizing natural ceramic as a coating, the Green Earth Pan by Ozeri is one of the world's first frying pans to achieve non-stick perfection while remaining absolutely free of PTFE, PFOA and other harmful chemicals. Conventional cookware and other ceramic cookware brands achieve their non-stick performance through a coating of PTFE (PolyTetraFluoroEthylene), a synthetic substance that has waxy properties. At very high temperatures, PTFE begins to decompose and release fumes which are documented to be lethal to birds and small pets, and which can be harmful to humans. In addition, traditional pans incorporating PTFE are manufactured with the aid of PFOA (PerFluoroOctanoic Acid), which the EPA has classified as a 'persistent pollutant of the environment'. With the Green Earth Pan's ecozeri technology, even under high temperatures, no harmful toxic fumes are ever released into the environment. This is because the Green Earth Pan by Ozeri utilizes a 100% ceramic coating derived from nature - not from a laboratory. The Green Earth Pan's ceramic coating is completely free of PTFE and PFOA. In addition to being completely eco-friendly and ultra-safe, the Green Earth Pan's natural ceramic coating is far more durable and scratch-resistant than other non-stick surfaces. With better non-stick properties, the Green Earth Pan by Ozeri allows you to saute, fry, bake, boil and braise with as little as half the amount of oil normally used, and it makes cleaning a breeze. The Green Earth Pan by Ozeri is made of the highest quality die-cast aluminum that allows for even cooking and fantastic browning without the risk of hot spots. It boasts a magnetized bottom for rapid heat transfer on induction stoves, and a heat resistant Bakelight handle. Your satisfaction is guaranteed. "
 
I love that this pan is so much safer for all of us to eat the food cooked on it, that I don't have to worry about horrible harmful' things' I can't even pronounce leeching off into our food or environment.
And see that last line.....

Your satisfaction is guaranteed

One of the best things... that they totally stand behind their products and if you have any problems they will work with you to fix what ever might be wrong. How awesome is that? A pan And customer service?!

 

 Want in on the good  yourself? Here is the hook up!

Amazon



*If you order now there is a counter on the Amazon page to let you know how much longer you can buy and ship in time for Christmas



The Take-Charge Patient ~ A Book Blast

The Take-Charge Patient By Martine Ehrenclou

Synopsis: Frustrated or confused about how to get good medical care? In her newest book, The Take-Charge Patient: How You Can Get The Best Medical Care (Lemon Grove Press, May 15, 2012) award-winning author Martine Ehrenclou empowers patients to become pro-active, assertive, well informed participants in their own health care. With advice and personal stories from over 200 doctors, nurses, pharmacists, and other health professionals and patients, The Take-Charge Patient reveals insider information on how to cut through the red tape and navigate today’s complex health care system with confidence. Ehrenclou outlines strategies to enable patients to take charge of what they can –---how to prepare for a medical appointment, how to create a “patient’s toolkit,” how to find the right doctors, how to communicate effectively with doctors and how to form the all-important collaborative relationship with medical professionals. She also provides vital information on how to prevent medical errors and medication mistakes, how to manage health insurance and how to obtain discounted medication and medical care. Six months into her research for The Take-Charge Patient, Martine Ehrenclou developed debilitating, chronic pain and used every strategy in her new book. She went from author and advocate for others to an advocate for herself and became a take-charge patient. After eleven doctors failed to diagnose her correctly, Martine found her own diagnosis and the correct surgeon to treat her. She is now pain free. According to Ehrenclou, your health care is a team sport. The Take-Charge Patient shows you how to become an effective player. Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Buy from author | Atlas Books Click here to read the first chapter! Martine Ehrenclou, M.A., is an award-winning author, patient advocate and speaker. Her newest health book, The Take-Charge Patient: How You Can Get The Best Medical Care, winner of eighteen book awards, empowers readers to become proactive and effective participants in their own health care. Martine’s mission is to empower patients to be their own best advocates. Through her books, media interviews, published articles, blog, and lectures, Martine Ehrenclou reveals insider information on how to interact effectively with medical professionals and navigate the health care system. Website| Twitter | LinkedIn | Facebook | Fan Page | Pinterest

Ozeri Scale ~ A Review

Ozeri Bathroom Scale

A Review

 

 

 For those of you that don't know, I am on a weight loss journey, venture, okay more like a bad roller-coaster... but it's mine to ride and I'm doing it, did I happen to mention that I HATE roller-coasters?

 

 I was one of the 'lucky ones' when I was younger, I never had to worry about being over weight and with a Mother and Grandmother that was always battling the bulge it was something that was 'pounded' in to me...

....Don't be fat...  

 

 So now after 3 kids, a not so great amount of will power and self control I am now over weight. I have some slight other health issues that are factors in to my weight but 99.999% of it is my fault. Since I was thin when I was younger I didn't think I would ever have to worry about my weight, I just figured that I would always just go  back to my 'normal' size. Well..... I didn't and now I am exercising and starting to watch what I eat, not as much as I need to but it's a start non the less.

 And long this little ride that I currently am on I have had a big helper...

 

my Ozeri Scale

 

 

I like most people have feared what the scale would say to me each morning and evening, and in all honesty I still don't like what it has to say to me {I think a couple of times it might have even grunted when I stepped on...}

BUT... Man it looks stunning standing on it. The entire design and look of this scale just seems to screams out luxury

The scale it's self is stunningly beautiful,  it's sleek and thin {Like I want to be one day!  *giggle*}which I never thought I would say about a scale, I just never really thought about it. But now it's 'must' as part of my bathroom décor, it's just that Pretty!

It's made of impact-resistant tempered glass so no ugly cheap looking plastic, it's also has chrome facing so it matches my bathroom facets as well.  And here is the best part... it lights up! Yeah it lights up when you step on, so when I am creeping up the stairs at night going to bed and I want to depress.. I mean weight my self  before bed and I don't want to turn on the light and take the chance of waking up Max {the baby}, I can still step on it and see everything clear as day!

It has a synchronized electro-mechanical dial which is awesome ~ I was shopping around for a scale before I was honored with doing this review and I could never make up my mind on what kind I wanted, now I don't have to choose! I have the best of both worlds.

The scale has been constant with the correct weight since we got it, for not just me but for my husband and kids as well.

 Having this scale has helped me stay focused, it helps to remind me each day when to weight my self so I am weighing my self the same time each day. Besides it's just so pretty sitting there in the bathroom it makes you want to step on it. And it's FAST, no more waiting on blinking 00.00 or dotted lines it's fast and to the point which I like {because normally I have a toddler pulling me off of it so he can sit on it and see it light up! HA HA}

And to top it all off  the scale is fully covered by their manufacturer’s warranty.

I hugely recommend this scale, it's not just functional but it's stunning as well.

 

 Here is what the company has to say about the scale:

 

The Ozeri Rev Digital Bathroom Scale with Electro-Mechanical Weight Dial is the world's first weight scale to incorporate a synchronized electro-mechanical Dial and LCD that automatically illuminate and point to your weight in lbs and kg, for easy-to read results in all light conditions and from any angle. Boasting a visually arresting design, the Ozeri Rev scale features a huge 5.5 inch mechanical dial display with an integrated digital blue-backlit LCD, accented by stylish chrome to create a distinctive retro look, yet with the accuracy of modern technology. This professional quality scale features an oversized platform made of impact-resistant tempered glass with slip-resistant feet for ideal stability, and a new built-in alarm that reminds you to measure your weight at the same time each day. The Ozeri Rev Digital Bathroom Scale uses 4 high precision GX sensors that weigh up to 400 lbs (180 kg) in 0.2 lbs or 0.1 kg increments. Whether your goals are weight loss or muscle gain, the Ozeri Rev features the latest generation of StepOn technology to display your precise body weight upon stepping onto the scale, with no tapping required. The Ozeri Rev Digital Bathroom Scale is auto-calibrated and automatically turns off to conserve battery life. It runs on 3 AAA batteries (included) and features a Low Battery Indicator. Your Satisfaction is 100% Guaranteed.

 

• Product Dimensions: 13.5 x 1 x 14 inches ; 4.7 pounds
• Shipping Weight: 7.7 pounds
• Origin: Made in USA or Imported
• ASIN: B00G0X49VW
• UPC: 815817011190

 

 

 Here are some links so you can get hooked up with one too!:

Ozeri

Amazon

 

If you end up with this scale I would love to know what you think about it! Come back here to the blog and let me know or let me know on Facebook!

 

 

* I received this scale free of change for my honest review



Copy-Kids DVD ...a Review

Copy-Kids DVD

 Having trouble getting your little one to eat those greens on his or her plate? How about not wanting to touch the fruit in that bowl you  gave them? I think every parent at some point goes through this with their children

 In our house, I have a favorite phrase when it comes to my kids....

 Monkey See, Monkey Do, Monkey Get In Trouble too....

 

 

  If the oldest one does something the next one in line wants to do it too- all the way down to the baby. This DVD is perfect for kids that are just like mine, they want to do what they see - weather it be on T.V., watching something on YouTube, or just watching their friends do it. It seems to always be a game of copy cat to some extent.

This DVD plays up to just that....

 Here is a video promo of the DVD:

 

Here

 

  With the DVD of Copy-Kids you can get your little one eating their veggies and fruits in no time!

 My kids aren't one to normally pass up on veggies and fruits, but the baby seems to be at the point where if I don't get him eating more veggies and fruits I'll have a picky eater on my hands, and in this house there is a good chance he might starve to death ( I'm just joking! kinda... ha ha).

 

  My best advise is to watch this DVD before having your little ones watch so you know what foods to have on hand, that way when they start asking for them you are able to let them try it out, or to even just offer it to them while they are watching it.

  It worked well with my youngest who is currently 20 months, as he started watching it he was mesmerized, he sat there are just starred. After a while he started giving me the sign for "eat" and asking for food. I know he wasn't aware of what he was asking for but I gave him the food that he was watching the kids on the DVD eat. As the DVD played he sat there are ate right along with the kids.  He seemed to have fun being able to eat right along with them. Like I mentioned before he's not a 'picky eater' per say but if I don't get him to eat more of the colors he just might end up being my first picky eater.  

  This DVD is about one thing every parent wants to do- get their own kids to eat their veggies and fruits with out a fight, and because this plays up to the copy cat effect your kids will be eating their fruits and veggies in no time- and doing so with out a fight! In fact they might even start asking for them!

Here is the link and the hook up to get your copy of your own DVD

Amazon

If you buy this DVD I would love for you to let me know how it worked for you and your kids,
you can leave me comment here on the blog or on my Facebook page


Happy Eating!


The Pact Cosmic Blast

Grow Your Blog Link Up

Welcome to the Grow Your Blog Link Up! It's a link up specifically for new bloggers (those with less than 500 followers per social medium are welcome too). It's also a chance  to meet other new bloggers, and hopefully build networks and friendships. There are no fees for co-hosting. Just email me at  onechocolatebox@gmail.com if you're interested. Link ups start every Wednesday at 3pm NZDT (that's Tuesday 6pm PST and Wednesday 1pm AEDT if that helps). Each week, one participant will be randomly selected, and gets featured on the following week's blog hop. More free exposure! There'll also be a giveaway from time to time, so make sure to check back each week.

1. You don't have to, but I'd appreciate it if you could  follow One Chocolate Box. 2. Follow the co-hosts! Let them know you're following from the Link Up, so they can follow you back. 3. Link up in the appropriate section using your blog URL or profile URL. Remember you can only link up in the section if you have less than 500 followers in it. 4. Visit and follow at least 1 other blogger. Let them know what you like about their blog. 5. Return the love, follow your new followers! 6. It would be super if you shared the Link Up via Facebook or Twitter. The more people join up, the more potential followers you can get. Tweet 7. I'd love you forever if you grabbed the button below and place it on your sidebar! <a href="http://1chocolatebox.blogspot.com/"><img src=" http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lH_fIp6xPU0/UohXr4eV-SI/AAAAAAAADhg/aZxJuztrFI0/s1600/logo2.png"></a>

A big welcome to my lovely co-hosts this week: Erica at The Visser Clan Jenn at Hello Gutentag Thanks so much for co-hosting ladies!

This week's feature is Kristen over at  Happiness Is A Mood, Not A Destination. Make sure to go say hi to this lovely lady. Also check out her sweet letter to a graduate. Such a beautiful, touching letter! And without further ado... link up, link up!

An InLinkz Link-up



Svan Baby to Booster Highchair Giveaway!!

Svan Baby to Booster Highchair Giveaway!!

 

 

 

I am helping promote this amazing give away! Good luck! 

 

 

 

Welcome to The Nurse Mommy's Svan Baby to Booster Highchair Giveaway!! 

Hosted by:The Nurse Mommy 

We believe in the magic of Christmas at The Nurse Mommy, and thought that winning the Svan Baby to Booster Highchair would bring a little magic to your holiday season.   This giveaway is offered by Svan. Please visit the site and social media pages, because they so generously offered this contest. Be sure to read my review of the Svan Signet and leave a comment. 

Like Nailing Jell-O to a Tree

Like Nailing Jell-O to a Tree

Ever heard of the term "It's like nailing Jell-O to a tree."? Or how about " Like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos." ?
 
If your a mom there is a good chance that you have .... and had the same problem I seem to be having today....

Which is....

Trying to clean the house with a Very involved toddler. He is just in to everything! This is how my day ( well morning anyways) pretty much went..

5:30 am: wake up, get dressed, start coffee pot

6 am: Get older kids up and get them started on getting ready for school

6:45 am: Out the door to school

7:30 am: Home from dropping off older ones at their school(s)

7:34 am: Mop up Oatmeal mess from above mentioned toddler... from coffee table, floor, and high chair

7:35 am: Start mopping up what was left of my coffee from the table, kitchen floor, and sofa

8 am: Hear "ha ha down!" coming from the downstairs guest bathroom, RUUUN to go see, catch the AAA size batteries just before they head down the toilet

8:30 am: Come out of the office/libary and hear a crunching sound under foot, look down to see a white rice trail going through the 1st floor like a small path leading to my demise

 9 am: NAP TIME!!! 

10am: Nap time over WAY to soon for Mommy

10:05 am: Get caught up in the toilet paper that seems to of made it's way out of the bathroom and rolled down the stair case all the while leaving a nice trail for me to follow, you know, just in case I get lost going down the staircase.

10:07 am: Hear some sort of evil laughter coming from the kitchen

10:08 am: Get to kitchen just in time to watch the spoons and forks go flying across the kitchen all the while he is laughing and signing the word 'eat' to me.

 ...............................

 This was just part of my morning, and by the time I got to about 10:30 in the morning all I thought was " Hmmm wonder if I could get him to go down for another nap!?" Man! I try making sure the house is at least picked up and a little clean when Hubby gets home from duty, after spending 2 or more days at the fire station I know he just wants to come home and relax and he isn't able to do that if the house looks like it got his by an F5 size tornado!  So it looks like tonight after the kids all go to bed I will be spending some much needed kid free time cleaning the house.... or well at least the parts of the house that Max aka Monster was involved in today!....

Maybe I should start taking 'before' pictures just so my husband can see that I really have done something! HA HA

Well I guess it's on to cleaning for me!!

Saturday Mornings....

Saturday Mornings

 Relax.....

 Now think of the perfect Saturday morning in  your  home....

 Here is what mine looks like....

 Getting to sleep in a little maybe get up about 8 am, the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls, biscuits and gravy, eggs, toast, and of course fresh coffee! All warm and ready to be eaten  just sitting waiting for me..

I'm blessed, that my husband does this for me often, he takes the kids and hassles them down stairs, makes breakfast and lets me sleep in.

 One of the best smells to wake up to is the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls { and coffee!}...
 I. Just. Love. It. 
Something about the warm of the kitchen, the smell of cinnamon and icing. It just makes me all warm and gooey inside.


 So in honor of amazing Saturday mornings try out some of these AMAZING cinnamon roll recipes...

 

http://www.pillsbury.com/Home/everyday-eats/breakfast-brunch/easiest-ever-cinnamon-rolls

How Cute is this?! I don't know a single table that wouldn't love these. It would be super cute to take to a dinner with family and/or friends... 

Here is a link to how to make this super cute bun tree...

 http://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/cinnamon-roll-christmas-tree/a2075782-274c-4a43-90ad-ab0f74de0065


I hope your Saturday mornings are filled with sleeping in, good food, fun, laughter, and love....

House Update 2 of 2

 

House Update

2 of 2

 

 As promised here is an update on the house, since I already posted  pictures of the house before here. So here are some pictures of the bathroom that my husband built for our daughter, he is amazing if I may brag a little. He moved walls, took out 4 closets, move the door over several feet, reframed everything, repainted, the pluming, ceiling, floor, walls, electrical, lighting, and every single thing done to build the bathroom he did On. His. Own. I am so proud of him and now our daughter had her own private bathroom. He even redid the bath tub on his own.

 

 

 Here are some of the pictures I took of the work in progress:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here is the work completed:

 

 

 

 Like I said I can't sing enough amazing praises of how amazing I think my husband is. He did such a wonderful job. You can't tell by just pictures but the LED lights behind the crown molding turn on when you walk into the bathroom and turn off in 5 mins. He did this so if or when she got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom she wouldn't have to look for the light or if she was sick. They are a soft blue/white so it puts the prettiest glow in the bathroom and then there are 4 recessed lights. 

The bath tub was bought from a family that was remodeling their home and it is about 100 years old. It had all the original parts to it and although we bought the prettiest facet for it, it didn't fit by about 1/2 an inch {Opps!} so for now we are using what came with it.

The wall paper is flocked { Which I LOVE} and was ordered through our local Sherman-Williams store.

The paint is from our local Wal-Mart.

The sink and toilet is from our local Lowes store.

The mirror, shelf, and candle sconces are all from a resale shop that is local here called Stateline Resale Treasures.

All in all the bathroom cost us a little under $2000.00 to build from start to finish. 

 

I would love to hear what you think about it?!

 

And Yes, that really is my daughter's bed it was her birthday gift from her Father and I this past year when she turned 12 ( I get asked a lot about it).

 

 

 

 



Hitchhiker Cosmic Blast

 

Hitchhiker

Supernatural abilities haunt her. Brainiac students taunt her. The FBI “Freak Squad” wants her. Will she abandon her extra sensory talents in favor of freedom, or will she hone them to help catch crooks?

Former army brat, Ainsley Benton, may have finally found her place in this world, and it’s among the freaks. This small town art teacher has the ability to see, hear, and feel what other people are experiencing, and now the FBI’s freak squad wants to use her “human bug” abilities to catch bad guys. Despite her fear of commitment, failure, and responsibility, Ainsley temporarily agrees to join this team of misfits, and ends up risking her life to investigate a conspiracy that may only be one of her schizophrenic coworker’s paranoid delusions.

Buy it now from Amazon | Burst Books

Author Bio: 

Audra's love of writing began in the third grade, when she was chosen to go to a young author’s conference based on her story, "The Dragon Cookie,” which is about a giant cookie that comes to life. She continued writing, and was sometimes asked to write stories for friends as birthday gifts.

Audra went to college thinking she would go into journalism, but opted to go into publishing instead, and even took an internship at Yale University Press. She married right after college and was unable to find a publishing job where they were living in Seattle. Audra took an office job. After helping put her husband through law school, she went back to school and got her teaching degree. Audra enjoyed teaching, but once her oldest was born, she chose to stay home. At the encouragement of friends she started writing again, the result being her first novel, Watcher, which was released in January of 2013.

Audra and her husband now live in a small town in Eastern Washington with their three boys. They also have a black Lab named Benji who eats shoes, gophers and packages left on her front porch (thanks Fed-Ex). She recently went back to work as a Kindergarten teacher, but she still writes, dabbles in on-line shopping and plays Texas Hold ‘Em with her friends as often she can.

Website | Facebook

Giveaway:

One winner will receive a $50 Amazon Gift Card

Open internationally.

Ends 9th December 2013

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Are YOU ready for kids? Find out here...

  Are You Ready for Kids??

I saw this and just had to share! It made me laugh and at times I think it described my children perfectly!

Think you are ready to have children? Hilarious new parent test taking mummy blogs by storm MIGHT just put you off...

By Bianca London
PUBLISHED: 10:05 EST, 16 October 2012 | UPDATED: 02:45 EST, 27 November 2012 

Most broody mothers see having a child as a wonderful gift from God but one blogger has set about putting paid to that ideal.

A candid parent test highlighting the high and lows of motherhood is taking the internet by storm after being reposted on countless mothering blogs.
The Test For Future Parents by author Colin Falconer comprises 14 steps to follow before you have children and was originally printed in his book 'A beginners guide to fatherhood' in 1992 before finding its was on to parenting blogs in the UK, most recently Mamami by Chet, who was sent the parenting test by a friend.

Think you're ready for motherhood? Read this hilarious blog and reconsider that

Chet said: 'Most people will tell you that "it" is the hardest, most rewarding, rollercoaster job you will ever have - there's no pay, you are on duty 24/7 and, at times, it seems like there are few rewards.
'Being a parent has its ups and downs. I wouldn't change my title as "mummy" for anything in the world, however when this came through my inbox from a great friend it made me laugh (a lot!)'
If you think you are ready to embrace the joys of motherhood, we have printed the 14 tests here to see if you are really up to the challenge...

Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Prepare for pregnancy by attaching a beanbag to your front says the blog

Test 2: Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3: Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

You can kiss goodbye to precious beauty sleep as soon as you have a child

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2.  At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4: Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5: Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.


Test 6: Going for a walk

The hilarious blog post details a new parent test for broody mothers

a. Wait.
b. Go out the front door.
c. Come back in again.
d. Go out.
e. Come back in again.
f. Go out again.
g. Walk down the front path.
h. Walk back up it.
i. Walk down it again.
j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
l. Retrace your steps.
m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
n. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8: Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Feeding your child isn't as easy as it looks according to the test

Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10:TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11:  Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

Are you up to the challenge of parenthood asks this hilarious blog post

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.


Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13:Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14: Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2218515/Think-ready-children-Hilarious-new-parent-test-taking-mummy-blogs-storm-MIGHT-just-off.html#ixzz2kDVbSYUE
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